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If you saw that title and clicked to read, it’s likely that one of two things brought you here: You thought, “What in the world? This girl thinks she’s got it all figured out. I have to see who this chick thinks she is.” OR, you thought, “Sheeesh, I’m struggling. I need a dose of whatever she’s got going on.”

Those are extremes, obviously, but for most homeschool mamas, we tend to vacillate between these throughout days and seasons. We either think we have “it” finally figured out (only to have “it” blow up in our face the very next day) OR we think we are never going to get “it” figured out, and our kids would probably be better off spending their days in school.

Since long days, learning challenges, chaotic toddlers, willful attitudes, and mismatched learning and teaching styles can leave any of us questioning our sanity (and looking for a better way), I thought I’d share how I have “it” together (FINALLY!) and how you can too! It turns out you can have an amazing homeschool experience and choose the perfect curriculum for your family.

How? There are really two incredibly important steps in coming to a place where you truly walk in confidence in homeschooling.

1 – Realize you will never have “it” together.

I don’t mean for that to sound discouraging at all. It’s actually a really beautiful, powerful, and freeing thing. Having “it” together is ultimately the choice to homeschool from a place of humility and an awareness of where this vision of “it” is coming from in the first place.

So… what exactly is “it” and where does it come from? The answer for this will be different for each of us, but for me, “it” was a collection of feelings, perceptions, and observations I’d made about what the “ideal” homeschool day would feel and look like.

When I really took the time to step back and ask myself, “What am I aiming for?” it became clear that the vision I was chasing was actually a patchwork quilt of images and ideas. It was a mix of:

Good moments I saw in my Instagram or Facebook feed.
Warm, cozy snapshots from other people’s homes.
Beautiful notions pulled from Charlotte Mason’s philosophy.
The calm grace of that homeschool mom at co-op with ten kids who somehow never seems frazzled.
Pinterest-perfect lesson plans.
The routines of bloggers I admire.

And without realizing it, I had taken all of these wonderful—but very separate—things and piled them on top of myself and my children like a heavy, unrealistic burden.

When I stripped away this conglomeration of expectations and had honest conversations with real moms about their real days, “it” shifted considerably. I started asking questions like: How often do your kids melt down? Do you ever feel like someone’s behind in a subject? How often do you get to the “riches” like nature study or composer study? How many times a week do errands and appointments throw your schedule off? Do you actually feel like you’ve figured it out?

Guess what? Even the most amazing, godly, peace-filled, organized, and intelligent homeschool moms I know admitted they deal with all of those things—and more.

I realized we ALL have high, idealistic expectations. I realized we ALL have precious, beautiful moments worth photographing and cherishing—but that we also have many, many moments that are just… ordinary. Sometimes they’re messy, loud, or even frustrating.

I also realized that having “it” together never truly happens because “it” is always moving. Life circumstances change. Health crises pop up. Learning styles evolve. Babies are born. New opportunities arrive. Financial situations shift. Something is always moving the “marker” we’re aiming for.

The greatest peace that has ever entered my homeschool came from accepting that:

No two days will ever be exactly the same.
I can’t hit a moving target.
Keeping us in the general vicinity of “it” is as good as it’s going to get.

We do have idyllic, beautiful days—once in a blue moon. But far more often, we have idyllic, beautiful moments tucked inside the mess, fuss, disorder, chaos, struggles, and imperfections.

Having “it” together isn’t about perfection. It’s about accepting my human limitations and choosing to love the mess that surrounds those moments so that, ultimately, it’s all beautiful.

2 – Recognize that the PERFECT homeschool curriculum will always be the one God leads you to.

If you stick around Life, Abundantly for long (or check out our podcast or this live video on Facebook), you’ll hear me talk about “Spirit-led homeschooling.”

What does that mean? It means that rather than endlessly worrying, stressing, or constantly searching for a “better” curriculum, we pray. Most of us have gone through seasons in our homeschool journey where we were doing everything BUT praying about it—filling carts, reading reviews, and researching until our eyes crossed—but never actually taking it to the Lord.

And what I (and so many other veteran homeschool mamas) have discovered is that God has not called us to homeschool only to abandon us in the details.

Believe it or not, He is in this right alongside us. He created our children, gifted them to us, and then called us to home education. He does not leave us to figure it all out alone. (John 16:13, John 14:16)

“But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things…” (John 14:26)

While I certainly have my own curriculum and a handful of favorite companies I’ve been led to, that doesn’t mean they’re right for your homeschool. God has a plan for your child’s education that takes into account things about their nature, mind, and personality that even we as their mothers might not fully see yet.

Letting go of the huge burden of feeling like we have to control every single detail is freeing. Above all else, it lifts the crushing weight of comparison, perfectionism, and fear.

God cares about YOU, and He cares about your CHILD—more than we can even wrap our minds around. He sent the Holy Spirit to walk with us, guide us, comfort us, and convict us in each calling He’s placed on our lives.

When we stop worrying, stop frantically searching, and instead wait on the Lord, He shows up—every. single. time. Our job is simply to trust that He is good and faithful (John 15:7, 16), to believe that He will answer us (1 John 5:14-15), and to keep our hearts open to His prompting.

The place where His peace is found will also be the place where peace is found in your homeschool.

When you combine that peace and guidance of the Holy Spirit with realistic expectations, you gain the ability to homeschool in complete freedom—freedom from comparison, second-guessing, and feeling completely overwhelmed.

We are all, ultimately, big sinners teaching little sinners, all swimming in a sea of opportunities for mutual sanctification. When we truly understand that we have a Helper, that we are not alone, and that we are not the “only one failing,” the burden lifts.

It doesn’t mean the days will always be easy. It doesn’t mean we won’t have struggles. But it does mean that we can approach each day with a deep sense of peace and a renewed ability to love our children well—even in the middle of the chaos.

And that, my friend, is the closest any of us will ever come to truly “having it together.”