Thriving in Your Home (Instead of simply surviving...)

This is a guest post from my friend Jana! I love to read her practical encouragement and actionable wisdom. I hope it will bless you too!

The monotony of life at home can lull us into simply existing. We’ve all been there. But it doesn’t have to be so. Mama, you can thrive at home! Here are three strategies: make it beautiful, provide gracious order, and be a consistent presence.

MAKE IT BEAUTIFUL 

Do you feel an internal tug for beauty? Perhaps you love an orange sunset or pink peonies. God created this world beautiful as a reflection of Himself, so I believe an innate pull to beauty is why we desire to create beautiful spaces in our homes. Beautiful spaces bring a deep sense of thriving.

Make your home beautiful in your eyes! Since “beautiful” is a relative term, just do what makes you grin. When you find the perfect item and, every time you walk by, you have a silly grin on your face: that’s it. That’s your beautiful.

A beautiful home is a home that makes you grin. 

Here are simple ideas to help create “grinning moments” in your home:

1. Switch it up. Shop the house. Move items from one room to another. It’s free and you’ll be amazed at how fresh your rooms will feel! Every couple of months I run around the house, move things around, and it feels so good.

2. Light a candle or defuse your favorite scent. The stash of delicious candles you’re saving for a special occasion? Make that occasion today! For me, lighting candles immediately creates the feeling of a “moment,” plus how our home smells can evoke a sense of ambiance and comfort.

3. Play music in the background. Beauty touches all of the senses, and what you hear in your home adds to the feeling of beautiful. It’s part of my morning routine to turn on music. Soothing sounds in your subconscious can make such a difference.

4. If it “drives you nuts,” then do something about it. When something about my home bothers me and I can’t spend money to fix it, then I get creative. Some options that help me: garage sales, thrift shops, selling something to free up money, spray paint, or swap with a friend.

5. Go green. What better way to create beautiful moments than to bring the outdoors in! Flowers and fresh greenery always make me grin. My favorite trick is to buy marked-down grocery store flowers. Another idea is to go outside and clip a few green branches. They will last quite a while inside, bringing an instant feeling of freshness. 

It is worthwhile to make our homes beautiful, capturing all of the senses. Everything beautiful speaks of worship, honor, and worth. Small touches here and there make such a difference.

GRACIOUS ORDER

Cleaning. Organizing. Most of us probably agree these are the “necessary evils” of keeping a home. With seven people in my family, I assure you our home is well-lived-in and never perfectly clean. Even still, we do try to keep an overall sense of order, regularly attending to our home with care and grace. When our homes are clean and tidy, we feel better, the kids play better (and learn good habits), and our husbands are less stressed (because we’re less stressed). Now there is a positive spiral we can all enjoy!

An orderly home is a home at peace. 

To start, figure out what bothers you most. What isn’t working and what causes the stress level to rise in your soul? Is it dirty bathrooms? Or kid’s toys everywhere? Make a list. Put a name to the annoyances you can’t shake. Also, write down how you would love for your house to feel. Is it a sense of space and room to breathe? Or perhaps you love a clean kitchen? It’s easier to reach a destination when you have a clear idea of what the destination should look like!

Then make a plan. The house doesn’t clean itself and the clutter won’t leave without a game plan. You are the manager of your home; therefore, go and be the very best manager, by God’s grace and for His glory. Do you need to get help? (No shame in that!) Do you need to be present more so you have time to care for your home? Figure out what works best for your family and then plan out steps to move forward. 

A few practical tips:

1. Do it right now. Procrastination is our worst enemy when it comes to home-keeping. Very few of us ever feel like doing laundry or mopping the floor, but we are relieved and energized when it’s done. Accomplish the task right now instead of later. Later always sounds better, but never feels better.

2. Enlist the kids’ help. Believe it or not, your kids can be your biggest cleaning asset! Sometimes I sound like a sergeant after dinner, but in 15 minutes the entire downstairs is straightened, kitchen cleaned (even dishes washed!), and the house put back in order. 

3. Remind the husband lovingly. My husband is wonderful about helping around the house, but he doesn’t always remember what cleaning needs to be done. I have learned loving reminders are not always a bad thing; he is grateful for clarity on what I need from him. You might be the manager of the home, but he is your managing partner.

4. Reevaluate often. Every once in a while take an honest look at your plans and reevaluate. If it’s not working, try something different! Give yourself grace and rework the plan if the plan isn’t working.

Go forth and bring gracious order to your home, Mama. God has indeed given you everything you need to be the very best manager of your home. Let Him help and strengthen and inspire you.

CONSISTENT PRESENCE

A few weeks ago my husband shuttled the kids around in the afternoon. I put dinner in the crock-pot, cleaned upstairs, lit a candle for fun, and folded laundry. Then I actually sat down for 30 minutes to sip coffee and read. As I looked around my (just for a second) peaceful home, it occurred to me I need to be present at home more often.

I don’t know about you, but our weeks are packed with wonderful and necessary activities. It’s exhaustingly good, but sometimes I feel like a sentinel standing guard over our family schedule. Why the pull to constantly go? Sometimes I feel like I’m running away from home; do you feel that too?

Perhaps running from responsibilities or needy little people or apparent monotony. Rushing to the next thing day after day can increase stress levels, which directly correlates to decreased enjoyment of our homes (too much laundry! too much clutter! too much grime in the kitchen!). The wife and mother’s presence–whether peaceful or panicked–can set the tone. Being present at home long enough to take a deep breath and to keep a gracious order opens the way for thriving.

A present Mama is a thriving Mama.

As a stay-at-home mama, it is hard to thrive at home if I am never actually at home. I think we can agree presence precipitates enjoyment. I need to be present at home in order to cultivate a peaceful and welcoming environment. This isn’t to say we need to become hermits or to forsake all activities, but this is our encouragement not to run away or to over-schedule. 

I’m always surprised by how refreshing just staying home truly is. The kids love it and my soul loves it. My recent peaceful afternoon was a good reminder not to be afraid to be present at home. Allow yourself time to sit and to savor moments. Create space to be present. Enjoy your couch with the pretty new pillow. Sprawl out on the rug with the kids and listen to music. Sit at the kitchen table with coffee and little ones coloring nearby. All of these full-of-presence moments build a deep sense of thriving. 

Dear Mama, 

Make your home beautiful. The kind of beautiful that makes you grin. Pursue gracious order so your soul can be at peace. And stand guard over your schedule to protect your presence in your home. Beware of running away–press in to be present. By God’s grace, you can thrive at home.

“Your daily life [is your] sphere for glorifying Him” (Andrew Murray).

Jana Alexis is a wife, a foster and adoptive mom, an orphan-advocate, and a writer. She lives on a small farm with her husband and their five children; her days are full of home making, hope seeking and the occasional decaf coffee. Above all, Jana is a Jesus-follower who desires to live life glorifying Him. You can find her at www.janaalexis.com writing about the intersection of courage & grace–encouraging women to follow Jesus bravely and gracefully in their everyday lives. She’s also on Instagram.